The Sheep Song
(to the tune of "Scotland the Brave")

Pass me a whiskey, Mother,
I'm feelin' frisky, Mother,
I need a sheep to keep me warm
Through the night.

I need a lover, Mother,
No, not my brother, Mother,
I need a sheep to keep me warm
Through the night.

Hamsters won't make it, Mother,
They just can't take it, Mother,
I need a sheep to keep me warm,
Through the night.

Owls, bears, and other critters,
They only give me jitters,
I need a sheep to keep me warm,
Through the night.

Sheep never talk about it,
They never even doubt it,
I need a sheep to keep me warm,
Through the night.

Hand me that lanollyn*,
It's better than flannel linen,
I need a sheep to keep me warm,
Through the night.

I need a beast, Dear Mother,
No, not the priest dear Mother,
I need a sheep to keep me warm,
Through the night.

Bring me a sheep, Dear Mother,
Slip it beneath the covers,
Ma Tech may rule the grades,
But Psi U's depraved.