Partay "the Fatman" used to say something like, "I'll pay twice the gas money to Heflin to go out with her."
One day a couple of Brothers were in a car. Everyone was drunk but the driver. The driver says, "Hey! Let's go to Heflin!" They all go to Heflin and eat breakfast at the Huddle House.
From then on it was tradition. The rules are pretty simple:
A humorous note: One time when some Brothers made a visit, the Heflin City Limits sign disappeared. Sunil's girlfriend Cassandra, who lives in unincorporated Anniston said that the disappearance made the front page of the Anniston Star along with small town news like cows dying and deer road kills.
Well, after Far East Night, four crazy brothers decided to go to the Copper Kettle for some coffee and grub. When the food fest died down and coffee (with vas t quantities of sugar and caffeine) was being slowly drunk, Chris "Se–ior Cerves o" Lawyer foolishly said, "Hey, let go do something. I don't really feel like g oing home and going to bed, so let's go do something." A flash of inspiration s trikes Alex "Snuggles" Hofelich and knocks him silly with, "Hey! Let's go to He flin!" The night was right to commit great acts of stupidity, and we were just the men to do it. We violated the original rule of "someone must be drunk," but stupidity or caffeine is all that's necessary to do something like this. Drinking is only really for those who haven't heard of Heflin and don't know that it isn't really fifteen minutes away. Well, it is, but that only counts time zones. Then it's two hours and fifteen minutes getting back. We got the Anniston Star and talked to the waitress and cook. The cook summed the whole thing up best with, "Why did you come to Heflin? There ain't nothing out here!" We drove back again doped up on another burst of caffeine (which greatly decreased certain Brothers' ability to "hold"). On the way there (also under the influence of caffeine) we three passengers forced Brian to pull over while we relieved ourselves, and ol' Trigger got a kick out of seeing three backs to the highway about ten feet apart in the middle of the night. On the way back (after relieving ourselves at the Huddle House) we again forced Brian to pull over ("We're only half an hour away, can't it wait?!?" "Uh, no, I'm sorry Bri', but it can't.") This time as Wade and myself are relieving ourselves at the edge of the highway, Brian slowly pulls off all during our fun. Obviously, when we were done we were supposed to freak out and go running after the car. Sorry. Wade and I enjoyed the night air and peacefully strolled after the car at a leisurely pace. When we did eventually catch up we kept on going, right over the top of the car and on down the highway. Brian got annoyed, pulled out of the emergency lane and drove down the highway a little piece while Wade and I still strolled along talking of Pedophilia and other interesting things. When we reached the car again, we were brutally manhandled and forced into the car and informed that we wasted twenty minutes or something like that,. But when you're wasting the entire night and part of the next day, what's twenty minutes? We informed them that we were enjoying our walk and the could bite our nether portions. All in all, it was loads of fun and immensely stupid.
Upon our return, we noticed that the Olympics billboard proclaimed that there were only 666 days left until the olympics. Hmm... Could this have had something to do with the whole ordeal? The world may never know.
The night was calm, but the world beckoned us on...
We had started the adventure with a romp at the new dance club Nocturnia; it was dead in a manner of speaking. Brian Hill, Alex Hofelich, James Mitchell, Jake "Sparky" Stephenson, Pete Thomas, and I, this historian, [Pokey] spent the night interacting with weird dark people thinking, "Wow! Look at the nose rings on that woman." These people were outcasts from society by their own choice. Not evil. Not Bad. Just non-conformists that are hypocrites through their own group conformity. [Alex: I had a good time. Everyone else stood around the pool table and played pool the whole time. I actually got out there and danced. Brian did a little a few minuted before we left. The ambiance was pretty morbid and the bathrooms terrifying. When the most colorful people are wearing a splash of grey or red with their black, the overalll mood tends to be cool (in my opinion).]
Between two and three we left that place and put its darkness behind us only to seek more adventure and salvation from boredom. We took the Red eye over to the Copper Kettle on Howell Mill Road, and lo' there was Wade and Ingrid. A person, I do not remember which person suggested it or what demon possesed their mind, said the words, "Let's go to Heflin." And then the same (or a related) demon possesed my mind and responded, "Okay, I'll drive." The Silver Coffin left the Psi U house and streaked down the road as the six of us, now Alex, Brian, Sparky, Wade, Ingrid, and myself, hurtled towards our imminent doom.
The slap-bang is another tradition that the Gamma Tau Chapter holds dear. When a Brother is suspected of having intimate relations with a member of the opposite sex, we generally preform a slpa-bang on the closed door. We take part of the song"Here We Are Again" and it's something like this:
An alternate version of this is when a brother is obnoxiously making out in something like the living room or in a common area where we all have to watch the exchange of spit. This version used is just spoken, usually between two brothers and the part switches when a comma or semicolon is reached (as in the passage above), so it's a spoken, more pointed, version.
When the Chapter House was on Tenth Street, straight up State Street from the house is this great place called Kool Korners. Here, some of the best Cuban sandwiches you'll ever sink your teeth into are crafted. If you stayed around the house for a week or so you'd get asked at least once if you wanted to walk up and get a Cuban, and occasionally a big group would go up and so when the proprietor of the store asked, "How many Cuban you want...ten?" we could answer yes. However there is a dangerous side-effect of these sandwiches: the sleep factor. Only the strongest can walk away from a Cuban from Kool Korners without the extreme desire to take a nap. (Obligatory AD&D reference:) One would have to make a good save vs. their Constitution or fall into a deep slumber.